What do these three used, overused, misused, underused words mean? I don’t know and I don’t think I care anymore. I anyways am not sure I can ever put into words what this phrase means. I am not sure anyone can ever pinpoint where this phrase might lead (mislead?). Despite individual meanings and pursuits, ‘I love you’ remains a mystery, an enigma and an amazing delusion for many. My individual pursuit to find the meaning of this phrase was and is going beyond all the barriers that stopped me from truly being with someone, listening to him and hearing what he never said.
And here is what I discovered. If I am expected to do anything in return for being told ‘I love you’, then I don’t want to hear it. Please get lost with your overdrive of emotions that demand the same overdrive from me. Because some people not only want this overdrive from the other side. They also want to direct it to the outcomes that are convenient to them.
Hey, its not that I don’t want anything when I say ‘I love you’ to someone. I want them to feel free for sure. And I want to be free enough not to love back out of an obligatory sense of listening to a spineless ‘I love you’.
And yes, I do not mean to bind anyone by this phrase anymore. If it doesn’t lead us to be free, then its not worth it.
I do not wish to be your sunrise.
I wish I could be the night in which you could lose your soul.
I do not wish to keep your soul with mine.
I wish you could find it forever lying next to my soul.
I do not wish to give you a home.
I wish you could find your home in each step to the end of this horizon.
I do not wish to be with you forever.
I wish you could find me in the shadow of each life that called you back from death.