Yesterday I was in a supermarket, buying groceries for the week. My dilemmas in supermarket are usually huge. I am there in the evening of any week day, especially the days when there is nothing left to cook for dinner. And my biggest dilemma is, what do I want to eat tonight? What do I buy to make sure that I cook and eat what I really want to cook and eat tonight? I go from vegetable racks to fruit racks, from milk products to frozen peas and paranthas, from instant noodles to all instant soups and Indian snacks sections, looking for that one single thing that would satisfy me like never before. That would make me feel full, nourished, and happy with myself. And I do not know how and why I do decide on something sometimes and come home happily. At other times, I get miserable, roam around streets thinking about what to eat and then come home and sleep.
But yesterday was different. I had started from looking at vegetables, and crossed the frozen foods section to reach Indian instant snacks, when I saw myself eating pasta with cheese and drinking Pepsi with it, all while watching one more Hollywood thriller on my computer. I immediately turned back to frozen foods section, to find some cheese and it was then that it hit me. I froze where I stood as a conversation mingled with the smell of oil in my head. Stop running after fantasies. Think about what you need. But I will put on weight if I eat a chocolate. Do me a favor. Stop running away from your fears as well.
I checked out, came home, sprawled off on my bed and dozed off. Then woke up for a late dinner, found some inconsequential noodle pack in the kitchen, and cooked it. I think it was the most satisfying meal I have had in days.