My heart was a jigsaw I failed to figure,
A dawn full of red, with a white sun inside,
Lingering grey cloud with a pink splay,
Pieces of light that I failed to find.
Blue pieces, black pieces,
Selfish pieces, angry pieces,
Listening to you, but not caring for you,
None of the pieces fit, none of the colors were right.
I colored them on top and then all over again,
Still never got the shades I wanted to give.
A muddy heart, a deluded eye,
Never sees the real pieces, even if they are all around.
Sharp pieces, dark pieces,
Bleeding pieces, stinking pieces,
There was nothing to give, but a lot to hurt,
Wreckage of a lifetime, was all I could find.
Yet, something changed when the ship sunk,
The wreckage was huge, but so was the reason to breathe.
Once at the bottom, there was light abound,
A god-given chance to throw all the ugly pieces out.
It took time but I took my chances, I hope you did too.
I hope you know, I hope you feel,
That you couldn’t have wrecked what was already broken inside,
You were there to show what I had blackened out,
You were there to help me unlock the pieces of light.
You were not who I believed you to be,
You did not become who I thought you would be,
I wish I had enough light to see the ‘you’ in you,
Getting by the wreckage might have then caused us less pain.
Now, I have the heart that I saw in my dreams,
Untouched, protected, in a shell inside.
I know some day soon it will come out,
Coz’ you came again and help me break the first lock outside.