My Name is a Movie Buff and I am not dumb, Mr. Khan and Mr. Johar!

My Name is Khan has given me a mission in life. I want to meet Karan Johar and Shahrukh Khan and tell them that I am a Movie Buff and I am not dumb enough to be sold off an advertisement for Islam in the name of a story of an autistic guy and whatever, whatever whatever you said so that we would buy tickets…

I am not dumb enough to miss why immediately before the release of the movie, Mr.Khan made comments that could controversially interpreted as favoring Pakistan. But isn’t that the art of politics (and business)? Make statements that can be justified either which way?

I am not dumb enough to believe in the controversy that was created around Mr.Khan being detained at an American Airport. Now that I have seen the movie, were you just setting a stage, creating the money-clinching environment for your movie?

I am not dumb enough to hate Hinduism, Islam or Americans or any other religion or race. I am not dumb enough to believe in your ideas that to prove yourself good you need to prove that others are bad and mistreated you.

I am not dumb enough to accept a religion’s bouts of self-pity as entertainment.

I am not dumb enough to give into your characterization. An autistic handicap was necessary just to justify his being pure and full of humanity, to justify how he could be so untouched by hatred around him. Show me a real, normal guy and make him love the world the way Mr.Khan does in the movie, untouched by the hatred of the world.

I am not dumb enough to believe this is the best you could do. Your screenplay does not make us cry, it does not make us laugh. It only made us look at our watches, thinking, how long is this going to last?

I am also not dumb enough to believe that you will not earn big bucks:-) You will, inshallah… you will, you have the blessings of our great neighbor and an Asian viewership that isn’t really confined to India, is it?

I am not dumb enough to believe in dialogues that sounded like an Islam big screen commercial. That too at every juncture where they were not needed,  even before the hero and heroine experience the catastrophic death of their son? They go to a charity/donation kind of gathering and start talking – Islam mein we give this much %age of earning to charity every year. Real humane people are real humane people, they don’t make their religion a reason to be humane. You defeated your hero, your movie in this single dialogue about Islamic charitability.

Ok, now that I have said and perhaps made you believe that I am not dumb enough, let me say a few more things.

Mr.Khan, I understand your frustration with the big bad West not treating Islam right. But please don’t try to misuse the art of cinema to release what needs therapy from a Psychiatrist. The only time in popular, mainstream hindi cinema when a man’s frustration turned into something creative was when Gurudutt made Pyaasa and Kagaz ke Phool. Your frustration seems to be doctored by the business opportunity that social/religious phenomenon throws up for some people.

Mr.Johar, this is for you. I didn’t wait till the titles to see who wrote the screenplay and dialogues. But we the viewers, cannot appreciate a scene where a terrorist is holding a meeting in a mosque and anyone is entering and praying. Were you trying to take your revenge from Islamic terrorists by portraying them to be dumb and idiots to hold a meeting like that openly, that too post 9/11 when security was stepped up crazily in US? And on top of it, a friend sitting next to me said, it must be normal for all Mosques to have meetings like that. LOL… you really did take your revenge on Islam, in disguise of course, by spreading such notions about them through your movie… LOL…

Kajol screams, ‘Mein tumhe chhod ke ja rahi hun’ and so on and so forth.  How many times have we heard the same dialogues in Hindi movies?

A confused script, tacky dialogues, mumbling SRK and a screaming Kajol.

Mr. Johar, if you want to sell Islam, go stand on Marine Drive and distribute pamphlets with praises of Islam. Don’t cheat us with a a bad commercial.

If you want to make a good movie, then make characters that work for us, just as Aman in Kal Ho Na Ho did, write dialogues and screenplay that binds us to those characters and their journey with Samsonite on their back. Don’t cheat us with something that makes us feel like we could cut up the screen if we had scissors.

And if all you want to do is give an emotional fuck to your idol, your hero, make him feel better, then don’t try to earn money from the poor movie buff out of it.

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